We’re lost, we’re lost, we’re lost, we’re lost, we don’t know where we are
We want, we want, we want, we want, we want to find a bar
Don’t come, don’t come, don’t come, don’t come, don’t come along with us
Cause we don’t know where the fuck we are, but FUCK WE’RE ON A BUS
Venus is a statue made entirely of stone,
There’s not a fig leaf on her, she’s as naked as a bone.
On noticing her arms were gone, an Engineer discoursed,
“The damn thing’s busted concrete and it should be reinforced.”
The Army and the Navy boys went out to have some fun,
Down at the local tavern where the fiery liquors run.
But all they found were empties for the Engineers had come,
And traded all their instruments for gallon jugs of rum.
I happened once upon a maid whose eyes were full of fire,
Her physical endowments would make your hands perspire,
She shocked us when she told us that she never had been kissed,
For her boyfriend was a worn-out Engineering Physicist.
Rapunzel let her hair down for two suitors down below,
So one of them could grab a hold and give the old heave-ho.
The prince began to climb at once, but soon came out the worst,
For the Engineer rode up a lift and reached Rapunzel first.
Professors put demands on us, they say we have to tool,
But all we want to do is sleep, WE HATE THIS FUCKING SCHOOL!
You can bitch or tell us off, abuse us if you please,
But we’re all set to graduate and ALL WE NEED ARE C’S!
My father peddles opium, my mother’s on the dole,
My sister used to walk the streets but now she’s on parole,
My brother runs a restaurant with bedrooms in the rear,
But they don’t even speak to me ‘cause I’m an Engineer.
The Romans fed their concrete mix the blood of ox and men
The Mafia uses theirs to teach a lesson now and then
But for all their pretty tricks their evil cannot even tie
Our trusting it in a canoe to float and keep us dry!
A fire hose by day and forty beers by night,
An Engineer may never sleep and still stay just as bright.
And if you ever ask them how they keeps up their routine,
They’ll raise their trusty can of Jolt, smile and say “Caffeine!”
A maiden and an Engineer were sitting in the park,
The Engineer was busy doing research after dark.
His scientific method was a marvel to observe,
While his right hand wrote the figures down, his left hand traced the curves.